Saturday, August 28, 2010

My daily diary : Initial Public Offering

This is a re-production of one page of my daily diary. The page of 26th Aug.2006. I am convinced that if diarists are paid anything, anywhere in the world, I will not starve. I read somewhere, sometime that a “personal narrative in a public domain has “its” own dynamics”. My English then, was, as it is today. Weak. So I didn’t understand this too well and that put a full stop of my agreeing to it or not.

Over all these days, I made a lot of friends and one of them is Rapidex book (google it! ), with the help of which I now understand it and wants to see “its” dynamics. So I am putting a personal narrative in a public domain. Keen, restless and hungry for the feedback that you may send at your own risk: For, I may respond..!!

Aug 26.2006
My Room
Mughal Aps.
Zakir Nagar.
New Delhi India

A long day, indeed! My bike is growing younger day by day and I am enjoying it km by km. Ever since I have studied about camera in my post-graduation, I have started thinking a lot about it… “If I had a camera ready, I would have taken the shot of guy sleeping on the edge of the loaded -rickety truck, pacing fast on a buzzing crowded ring road of Delhi while I am on my way to meet a friend in greater noida on this new toll bridge, where these robbers are robbing us of eight rupees/one way in the broad daylight, with the help of some Japanese who are not seen around but are collecting the toll….” “And if I had a camera, I would have taken picture of Ammijaan, now that she is sleeping, still wearing her old worn-out specs she loves dearly because daddy bought it.Wrincles on her forehead worries me because she’s yet to attend Gudia’s and Pappu bhai’s marriage, become my wife’s mother-in-law and grandmother of at least half a dozen, assuming our Govt’s DTC(Delhi Transport Corporation) bus- sonnet “ Hum do.Humare do..”(hindi meaning- We two.Our two) Infact, the very thought of the camera while I am riding a bike, with the headphones plugged into my ears , and wire fixed at the other end of my cell phone’s fm radio at full-volume, converts me into a camera with damn good lenses and no focus ring.

Now I look at the big luxurious Sita Travels bus ahead of me...some 100 meters ahead. My eyes takes long shot (LS), and abruptly zooms-in on to the iron bar, ordering “Keep distance” fitted at the rear of it, my hand turns the throttle and bike dollys-in…Now I am just 3 feet away with the two words in sharp focus in a CU. I tilt up to take a low-angle shot of few human heads with variety of hair-style. MCU. There‘s a traffic signal ahead. I can’t see it. I know it. The throttle turns back, allowing the bus to move ahead and I am back to the long shot. Well, I forgot to mention a couple of cut-aways in the rear- view mirror of this middle aged man approaching me on his Bajaj scooty and this red old Maruti 800 overtaking taking me from left. I stay on a LS as the road is abandoned but slowing I am approaching a flyover to switch to a tilt-up LS , almost immediately reaching the peak and start climbing down, in a high angle tilt-down shot… The journey goes on for another 16 kms and I continue to jump from one shot to another until my phone rings, music goes off and there’s “jump”. No cut yet… I met Jasvinder and spent time in his newly bought house. I liked the door. I like open doors and closed windows with people having no-hot- head and no-cold- heart. I was not lucky to get it all today though, except the open-door. So I spent fifteen minutes in collecting my notes and in swallowing the cold coffee, without sugar and single- toned milk amids hot heads and cold hearts.

Now, I was on my way to Sarai, a research project that offered me a year long fellowship to study fast food chain's workers and its culture. Today’s presentation’s third day and mine’ first. But I am glad even today, there would be breaks filled with good tea & crispy biscuits. I will also have sexuality, post-modernism, colonial history, work culture and many such painful terrains after which we would arrive at dinner…There’s surely nothing like free lunch and free dinner either… I liked the food.( as I always do), and noticed few little kids who came with their parents and loitered around, in innocence, adding a kind of ventilation to this space which is, by now, full, with people doing serious and deep work on the terrains I mentioned above. May God bless the sensitive writers and the victims of those whose writings I found, kilometers long and millimeters deep.. In the midst of all the conversation, beer, chicken, paneer tikkas and beverages someone, with a pat on my back, told me something that took me back to AIIMS, a premier hospital in Delhi.

It was 25th Feb. 2005. Wednesday.11am. 7th floor. C-7 ward. I was sitting in the corridor watching my daddy lying on the bed, equipped with all the possible medical gadgets and surrounded by restless, and reportedly, meritorious doctors. The time on the big circular white wall-clock, with a layer of dust on its glasses, was exactly 11.02 am. In the next 20 minutes, daddy would make his final departure. I some how sensed it. I loved daddy dearly and I know he loved this place, his workplace, dearly too. But at that moment I hated it. So I moved and sat at the door few yards away. All the memories I had of him, was scanning through my mind as if I was now a scanner. I wanted to do some thing because I knew I was not ,and that I didn’t want daddy to leave. In my helplessness, I looked up and found an old man gazing at me. He asked me if I could take him to the stiching room. I found some thing to do. So I stood up and took him to the concerned unit. He said he was in hurry because he had to go to the nursing home to have breakfast with his wife, to which I thought of my Ammi at home, unaware, unknown... I managed to enquire about her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was victim of Alzheimer’s disease. While we were standing, the doctor called him. He had his stiches removed and asked me if I could help him get an auto. I agreed and went down with him. On my way, I kept thinking about daddy, on that white hospital- bed and Ammi at home ,and unintentionally asked him if his wife would be worried if he was a bit late.. He replied she no longer knows who he was and that she had not recognized him in five years.. I was taken aback, again, and asked, “And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?” He smiled, patted my hand and said, “Son, she doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.” He left. I saw his auto leaving with those familiar words: Keep Distance. When I returned to C-7, daddy had indeed kept a distance. My sister was crying inconsolably. Daddy was no more. But the lesson that I learnt from the old man, didn’t let me cry. I wanted to, though. But I knew that true love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be and will not be. If only we could prevent our mind from thinking like a camera, like a scanner, like a human being..Sometimes, life would be so much easier..

It’s the new day and has rendered one digit on the calendar useless…Will return with life’s new day’s menu. Welcome Aug 27,2006.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

My Ford Foundation's IFP experience – the beginning, the journey, the challenges, the achievements, the reflections

Rural India to Appalachian America


My IFP journey began in a rather unusual way. I landed at the Ohio airport with an injured foot and went straight to the hospital, where I spent the first week. Historic American elections that eventually gave America its first black president and a strong hope to the rest of the world, was on going. Major debate was on healthcare and the two presidential candidates were constantly debating their views on health. As I watched all of these debates on a television installed in my hospital room, health was echoing at a different level in my own psyche. The health insurance provided by the IFP covered almost all my medical expenses, which I must admit, according my standards in India were outrageous. That explained to be, the concerns Obama was raising throughout his campaign. In many ways, it seemed to me that he(Obama) was debating for me too. After three days in the hospital, I was able to walk around and met several patients in that hospital in Columbus, one of the biggest and commercially vibrant cities of America. Most of these patients were old and women and were rarely visited by anyone, friends or family members. They lived in loneliness and sickness. The next three days in the hospital gave me a serious insight of a highly individualistic society of which I was going to be a part of for the coming two years; coming two crucial years. This experience of isolation, capitalistic mindset and the tendency that measures everything prepared me for the life outside of the hospital, a privileged place that remained unaffordable to as many as 47 million of its citizenry.
I almost immediately changed by mode to tune myself to this new environment. From these initial days in the hospital, I realized how strongly supported I was with the Ford Fellowship.

The Beginnings

As I reached the college campus, first on a wheel chair and later walking on clutches around a hilly campus which often reminded me of Shimla (a hill station in northern India), I experienced a strong sense of diversity. People of all color and ages, students and faculty, students who also worked and faculty who also prayed and went shopping with us, community members who visited our library, farmers who were also authors and peace activists and so on. The beginnings were the most powerful moments of my entire IFP experience. I instantly made friends with many community members, who were community gardeners and organic farmers at the Athens farmers market that I frequently visited. It is through these friendships that I was introduced to the Appalachian America, a developing region of a developed nation that shared almost all of its socio-economic characteristics with rural India I grew up in. A region that remained invisible and hidden to the rest of the world perhaps due to the glitter and show that so strongly dominated the sound and images of the hustling bustling New York City and Las Vegas in the media that reached millions like me rendering Appalachia and its life almost nonexistent and mysteriously unknown. At that moment I knew I had a lot to explore and gather, and tell the untold stories.
Appalachian experience has a strong impact on me and like an explorer I was immersed in its life and people writing papers, doing participatory observations and taking courses that gave me academic insight of the economically suppressed but culturally rich region.

The Journey

As a ford fellow I was strongly invested in the campus life. The fact that I was externally funded by IFP and did not have to work to support my studies made me feel privileged, on one hand and more responsible on the other. My other friends were not just studying and doing assignments that I was doing but they were also working to support their studies. At times it made me feel ‘less than them’, at other times, guilty and yet at other moments I felt a stronger sense of ‘how much more can I do’ given my higher incentives, as a Ford Fellow on campus. These mixed feelings gave me more energy and constantly pushed me to challenge my own power to achieve things. I started getting involved and invested both academically and practically, with classmates and professors and with community members and other college campuses. Soon enough I was representing my class to the center’s Executive Director during monthly meetings, briefing him about the class going-ons and student’s aspirations and gaps. This representation was extended for the second year as well. In the second year I also represented my entire program as the Senator at the Graduate Student Senate that met weekly to discuss the administrative roles and responsibilities, new acts, funding etc that can potentially help students. This was my first tryst with the student’s politics in America. It enriched me and sharpened my political understanding of how a campus is run and what larger role can it play in the social change movement. One writer who writings inspired me most during this time was Howard Zinn. Sadly, I also witnessed his sad demise during my time in the US.
In addition to this, I also served as the Communication Chair of the Muslim Student Association, representing 25 global nationalities from Asia, Africa, Middle East and North America at several university and community platforms. As a Secretary of the Ford Foundation Students’ Association and as member of UNICEF and Save the Children student bodies on campus I made several efforts to help build a safer and healthy word for children.

Overall, these experiences, encounters, and travels that came along gave me more than what I expected from an academic program at Ohio University. The roles I took, travels I made and academic work that I produced collectively built my personality and integrated it with the citizenry of the new country I visited for the first time. So much so that one of its member citizens became a lifelong friend, as my wife and decided to come with me to India and live here, to contribute towards it social development, working with me in the areas of social conflict resolution, social entrepreneurship and curriculum development. This relationship is a result of a shared vision that intends to build a world of social justice led by grassroots leadership and governed by participatory pedagogies. As I reflect, I could not have asked for more!

The Challenges

It took me some time to understand the dynamics of a new society which was almost entirely different from my past experience. Socially, politically, technologically and economically, I was dealing with a new system at all fronts. One of the major challenges was to make friends and alliances in a way that it not only serves a personal goal of networking and leisure but also builds a strategic partnership that would help fulfill my fellowship goal of bringing resources back to India and directing them to its development. Cultural subtleties were to be learnt and the social language was to acquired. It took time. But with relevant readings and persistent listening it happened. Another challenge was to constantly engage outside of academia while working with it. Writing papers, reading texts and reflecting on in-class experiences, while at the same time going out and experiencing, in very practical terms, the lives of the people, their challenges, their work, their aspirations, struggles and visions. Striking a balance between academic excellence and practical wisdom and using both to each other’s advantage was a good challenge to take on. It again came from reading, listening and travelling. It also came from becoming technology savvy- learning tools in the library, labs and resources like community library available outside of the campus, and building alliances with civic organizations working on grassroots issues. Besides, engaging in conversations and discussions with classmates and students from other programs to learn from their experiences and work always remained a priority and a challenge given the tight academic timeline. The main challenge was to become a public intellectual both on-campus and outside of it and contribute to the immediate society during the period of studentship. Building networks and creating engagements that can be extended at a global level with relevance to the Indian development scenario was another challenge on priority.

The Achievements and Reflections

One of my major achievements is the working relationships I built with my professors and friends across the world through on-campus, in community and in-class interactions. A relationship that will engage me in several global developmental issues for the rest of my life in a way that will affect India, my home country in a positive way. As I reflect, I realize much of it happened due to my listening and reading skills that were developed in India .What also helped was the grassroots experiences and the knowledge of Indian social context and grassroots dynamics on which I could speak confidently, given my training and exposure in India, while engaging with contemporary texts on technology and globalization. I was constantly able to connect with my institutions and organizations in my home country to bring their latest perspective and challenges in the classroom and juxtapose them with theories studied in the class. This interconnectivity of realities and theories was a unique experience and an extraordinary experience in terms of experiential learning and my small contribution to the educational system that I was a part of in the US.
As I returned to India, I bring with me not only the new knowledge I acquired but also the expertise of the people I met and built relationships with, thus bringing-in a strategic leverage to the Indian social development-potential.
I intend to consolidate my networks through building new collaborations and developing new projects using new technology to continue working for the educational and health reforms I conceived at the time of writing my IFP application.
I am confident that I will achieve more than I envisioned and will go beyond my initial to-do-draft that I wrote as a part of my return-India plan presentation at IFP orientation two years ago .I consider this my achievement.
I owe all my achievements to the support I got from the IFP and its many incentives, together with the encouragement and the timely guidance that came from the IFP team in New Delhi and New York. I am thankful to IFP teams, and will endeavor to translate my gratitude into those actions and values for which IFP stands for; Social Justice and Social Change, through all my work, now on.

Monday, April 5, 2010

IFP conference@ Ohio University: Leadership via Fellowship

The glimpse of young people passionately engaging in issue of social justice is always a very positive glimpse. It not only produces hope but also creates an environment of converting this hope into actions.

Ford Foundation International Fellowship Program’s 3 day conference with a theme to ‘Cultivate Leadership for Social Change’ held in rural Appalachia provided one such glimpse, where IFP fellows from eight American universities representing ten nationalities gathered at Ohio University which hosted the conference between March 25 and March 28 2010.

Established in 1804 Ohio University was just the right campus for such an event. Its vibrant campus with a mix of Victorian and Modern architecture, rich international student community and diverse community interactions makes it a creative hub for student-community to intellectually engage with one another and work on the most pressing social issues that our world is facing today.

The conference agenda was both enriching and entertaining. And it began right at the Columbus airport, which was the point of arrival for all participants. Conversations started amongst fellows, amongst IFP officials who flew from New York, and soon enough amongst the two as well. As everyone boarded the Ohio University Bus, with its giant green Bobcat mascot printed across it, these conversations became the background music while the bus navigated the bright sunny Appalachian visuals through the 90 minute journey from the airport to the Athens campus.

The program began at Salaam, a pan Arabian restaurant on Court Street, campus’s downtown area, where everyone gathered for the dinner. This was the ice breaking session where everybody shared each other’s history, work and culture. As we ate together, fellows from Uganda dressed in their traditional attire danced and rest of us joined them in cheers with rhythmic clapping and humming. Soon enough the Ohio University IFP fellows came forward and added to the environment by a collective dance performance, dedicated to all participants, and then the Chinese fellow’s solo singing performance and a solo poem recitation by an Indonesian. While all of this was underway, the constants flashes of cameras lighten up the ambience and the conversations continued.

Second day of conference was 27th March and everyone was a friend to everyone by now. Well, pretty much. That set the stage of this day, which was full of introductions, discussions and Q& A sessions. After the initial welcome of the participants by the Ohio University’s Ford Fellows Association and the video address by Joan Dassin, Executive Director of International fellowships Funds, followed by the remarks from Krista McCallum, Director of Ohio University International Students and Faculty Services, the conference marched into the keynote address by Dr.Judith Millesen, Associate Professor of political Science and Fellow Faculty at Ohio University. Her work and words on social justice leadership was inspiring and provided the fellows with fresh perspectives of an academician and a practitioner of social change.

This was followed by the panel discussion moderated by Dr.Haley Duschinski, Assistant Professor of Sociology and Anthropology. Panel members came from diverse background and brought in grassroots experiences that are required to translate methodologies into social change actions. Mara Giglio from Appalachian Peace and Justice Network, Carol Kuhre from Rural Action and Leslie Schaller from ACEnet shared the rare insights of working at a grassroots level to develop social change movements through basic human devices such as listening, participatory approaches and conflict resolution through peer mediation.

This panel was uniquely successful in its presentation and fascinating in its discussions because it avoided all the abstract and academic notions of social change and emphasized on the real issues in a very real terms. This, we call, hitting the nail in the coffin!

The panel also really synergized the participants with new enthusiasm and urgency. This was clearly reflected in the next post- lunch session, where fellows organized themselves in small groups to brainstorm and share their thoughts on topics such as Poverty and health ,education, gender and equality issues, which are plaguing the humanity across the globe.

It was these small group- discussions that brought forth, the distinction between issues which are important and which are urgent, concerns that are global and that are local, and solutions that need national perspective and those that transcend nationalities and need universal addressal. It is from these discussions that Ohio Declaration, a document of ‘actions to be taken by fellows’ emerged in a very powerful way; all groups sat together and reflected on their life experiences, discussions and social realities in all its political, economic and cultural context to know the problems and come with solutions. Ohio declaration was thus created!

The day progressed with a new session called ‘Connecting to your IFP community’ that provided a chance to all fellows to know how best they can network with each other and contribute toward the global social change movement. Blogs, video conferences, new media platforms like Facebook and other ways of communication such as telecommunication text messaging was explored. Remarks by IFP officials including Senior Program Officer, Tammy Langan, Communication Officer, Diana Whitten and the Grant Administrator, Barbara Wanasek, further emphasized the crucial communications and protocol issues. This emphasis resulted in an immediate networking as fellows connected with each other through Facebook and emails after this face-to-face communication. New blogs in future and new communication platforms using New media technologies will go a long way to keep the fellows connected and build the social justice caravan.

In its final stages, the conference’s destination was what is popularly known in Athens, The Ridges, a beautiful historical space situated on the top of the hill with Kennedy Museum of Art. Dr.Pam Benoit, Executive Vice President and Provost, Ohio University and Dr.Weinberg, Director of Ohio University Voinovich School of Leadership and Public Affairs addressed the fellows with inspiring examples of political and social change.

Yet again, emphasizing the power of individual actions backed by the collective solidarity for the sustainable social change.

As the fellows returned from The Ridges, it was time to conclude, and say good bye to each other, only with a hopeful new beginnings with each other and on issues we feel strongly for .And what better way to come together and have group photos as a memento of the conference!

The conference ended on a note of solidarity and camaraderie .As our bus moved back to the Columbus airport, we were no longer a bunch of fellows; we were a family members who were to meet again. And again, as we were bonded by the same desires and restlessness of a social change.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

My fellows my wings!

This is abiography of my friends in the sky..with wings and beautiful eyes....Pigeons! The peacemakers!
they love to fly and fly high.This is their story and our story..as they see us from the sky and as we see them from the ground..Our stories..

Think Street Dude!

This is a slide show about the streets of Delhi..Old Delhi in India..it captures the narrative of the lanes and by lanes of the narrow and dark and historical indian space..with its own vibrant nerves and bright skin, and restless mood.Its the city's busiest corridor..humming and humming..it own sonnet of work and leisure..

Thursday, June 4, 2009

My video post: This is a brief biography of my work.

My work with spaces and people in rural and urban India.It includes my encounters with different cultures, development sites and issues offering immense challenges with which I navigated life.